( written by my friend John Doyel…)

“For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.” Rom. 8:2

The reason there is now no condemnation, nor will there ever be any more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus is because the condemnation of God against all the sins of the world was poured out on Jesus at the Cross. He took our condemnation upon himself and was our substitute so that we, who are in Christ, would be free from all condemnation.

The reason that no condemnation continues today and for the rest of our lives is that this “law of the Spirit of life” has (notice this is in the past tense – in the Greek – aorist tense – one and done) set me free from the law of sin and death. So I have been set free and I remain free forever from the law of sin and death.

So, why do I keep struggling and feeling like I cannot stop this behavior and have this addiction to sexual sin? You have been deceived and been trained to think that way. You sinful choices have conditioned you to think you cannot be free. Like an elephant is trained as a baby to think it cannot break the chain around it’s foot because it could not do so when it was little … it continues to believe that as an adult so it does not even try.

So, either the word of God is wrong – and you are not free and can never be free. Or you are deceived by sin and are convinced you cannot be free and so you eventually give in and use it as an excuse to sin. Here is a clue – the word of God is not wrong.

Here is the mental picture that I believe is biblical. Before we knew Christ as our Savior – we were locked in jail imprisoned to our flesh. God poured our His condemnation on Jesus at the Cross and when we believed in Him we were set free and got out of jail.

Somewhere along the line we returned to our sexual sins and choose to go back into jail. The difference now is that there is no lock. We remain imprisoned to this sin because we choose it. Everyday the door is open and Jesus invites us to come out and walk with Him, being filled with the Spirit and walking in the Spirit.

We get distracted … we feel stress, pressure, anger or whatever takes our eyes off of Jesus – and we run back to the jail cell for some porn and masturbation, or back to an adulterous relationship.

We have trained ourselves to believe that the escape of sex is the solution to our immediate problems when it only adds to them. Thus the downward cycle of addiction.

This weekend try this please … when you first start to feel tempted, or stressed or angry or lonely – whatever your triggers are – call out to Jesus, ask for the power of the Spirit to fill you and call a brother in Christ. That is making the choice to not go back to prison for another helping of vomit!

You must choose to stay free everyday and even multiple times a day!

Standing Strong In the Strength of His Might

John Doyel

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION – my relationship with a screen

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION – my relationship with a screen

This is from……

(The following is a post I asked my friend Daniel to write about his battle with pornography).

“My marriage almost ended four years ago when my wife found out that I was looking at porn — lots of it — and had been doing so since before we met, while we were dating, and all through our first five years of marriage. Caught you a little off guard there with the “p-word?” Make you cringe a little? Sorry about that, but bear with me. It’ll be worth it.

When my wife found out about my use of porn, she recoiled in disgust. At the same time, learning about my use of porn helped her begin to finally make sense of some troubling aspects of our relationship: the disconnection, my inability to “finish,” and my lack of interest in working on and being proactive in our marriage. We’d pretty much become roommates, mostly because of how I related to her.

I had to stop rationalizing about my behavior and begin to see how disconnected I’d become. It helped me to understand that it wasn’t possible for me to look at all that porn and also have an intimate relationship with my beautiful wife. I had to choose.

Picture two dressers in the middle of a room. One has all the drawers open, the other only one. The drawers represent the thoughts being processed by two individuals at any one time — a male and a female. Can you guess which is which? Women can process multiple thoughts at once, in contrast, guys open one drawer and then close it when they move from one thought to another. So it’s no surprise that when porn is involved in a marriage there’s a distraction and disconnect, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The moment my wife found out about the porn, the truth set in. The little bit of trust that we had at the time, trust that had been built over the course of years and years, was gone in a few minutes. Just like that, gone.

Having a partner who’s addicted to porn and sexually compulsive behavior is the worst betrayal a woman can encounter. With alcohol and drugs there isn’t a direct correlation to the woman, but with porn and sex it’s different. The wife sees it as a full on assault to her physical nature. She starts asking herself questions like, “Am I no longer attractive to him?” Women have enough of an issue with body image, especially with the culture we live in. The realization that your husband is spending hours looking at naked women having sex can be earth shattering. A wife’s self-esteem can take a major hit, even though it rarely actually has anything to do with her. I know that’s hard to believe, but I also know that it’s true.

Porn use often leads to acting out sexually in other ways as well. It did for me and eventually my wife discovered these too. The bottom dropped out. I ended up standing in my living room with my wife telling me, well actually yelling at me, that the marriage was over, that she would be filing for divorce in a few weeks. Mind you these were not idle threats of anger and hurt, but rather a declaration of war, one that I was going to lose. As an addict I tended to think that I had everything covered and together, but nothing was further from the truth. Very quickly that false reality came crashing down. I had two options, accept that my marriage was over or try to get REAL help before I lost everything. With grace I chose the later.

Somehow I convinced my wife to give me a month to show her I could change. She miraculously agreed. I started with a local family therapist and after telling him what I struggled with, he told me he dealt with the same thing and had yet to beat it. Wow. I realized that the “family doctor” wasn’t going to work, and what I need was a “spine surgeon,” a specialist who had precise and skillful approaches to dealing with and getting rid of this affliction in my life. Nothing against the family therapist, but I’d been dealing with this since I was eight; yes eight years old, and like I said I needed a specialist.

God willing I found George Collins at Compulsion Solutions and started what would be a one year journey towards recovery. My wife saw changes in the first month and gave me another month, and then another and so on for a year. The most rewarding part of my entire journey came after about seven months of treatment when my wife told me she felt like we were actually married for the first time in five years. The joy, oh the joy I felt was beyond anything I can describe to you.

My marriage, yes MY marriage is incredible. We just celebrated nine years and my beautiful bride and I are doing amazing, but let me tell you what’s really changed, our intimacy.

Porn inevitably rewires the brain and your view of intimacy. Sexually compulsive people focus on the act of sex, and suppress or altogether ignore the emotional side of sex. You’ve probably heard the saying “foreplay starts outside the bedroom.” That’s not the case with porn. There isn’t a nice date night, or long intimate and engaging talks. It’s just straight to the act of sex. What does this tell your brain? Why do wives feel so unfulfilled after having sex with their porn viewing husbands? I can tell you, because I’ve been that person, the sex is devoid of any real intimacy. A lot of guys that deal with this type of compulsive behavior actually have no idea what real intimacy is. I didn’t.

To have a relationship that is more than sex, understanding that intimacy is not defined as sex, brings you to a level or connection you’ve never thought possible. It’s the design that was intended for us by our creator. A connection so deep and built on all the right things. Any married couple can have sex, most do, but to be vulnerable, opening yourself to be totally discovered by another human being that you’re completely dedicated to is the dipping of your toe into the sea of true relational pleasure. The potentials and possibilities of your marriage relationship are endless and limitless, just as your relationship with our Father is.

I’ll bottom line it for you: If porn is present in your marriage, it won’t survive, not long term anyway. It’s like termites to the structure of a house, slowly and quietly eating away the beams until one day it completely collapses and you’re standing there wondering what happened.

I’m now a full time counselor with Compulsion Solutions and have dedicated my life to getting others free of sexually compulsive behavior. If it’s something that is present in your relationship, I encourage you to free yourself from it. There’s so much more waiting for you”.


Letters Home

This is a copy of a letter written from a daughter to a father…

It touched my heart so I want to share it here –


” Dear Dad,

I want to let you know first of all that I love you and forgive you for what this has done in my life. I also wanted to let you know exactly what your porn use has done to my life. You may think that this affects only you, or even your and mom’s relationships. But it has had a profound impact on me and all of my siblings as well.

I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman. First of all, it seemed very hypocritical to me that you were trying to teach me the value of what to let into my mind in terms of movies, yet here you were entertaining your mind with this junk on a regular basis. Your talks to me about being careful with what I watched meant virtually nothing.

Because of pornography, I was aware that mom was not the only woman you were looking at. I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted. I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way.

As far as modesty goes, you tried to talk with me about how my dress affects those around me and how I should value myself for what I am on the inside. Your actions however told me that I would only ever truly be beautiful and accepted if I looked like the women on magazine covers or in porn. Your talks with me meant nothing and in fact, just made me angry.

As I grew older, I only had this message reinforced by the culture we live in. That beauty is something that can only be achieved if you look like “them”. I also learned to trust you less and less as what you told me didn’t line up with what you did. I wondered more and more if I would ever find a man who would accept me and love me for me and not just a pretty face.

When I had friends over, I wondered how you perceived them. Did you see them as my friends, or did you see them as a pretty face in one of your fantasies? No girl should ever have to wonder that about the man who is supposed to be protecting her and other women in her life.

I did meet a man. One of the first things I asked him about was his struggle with pornography. I’m thankful to God that it is something that hasn’t had a grip on his life. We still have had struggles because of the deep-rooted distrust in my heart for men. Yes, your porn watching has affected my relationship with my husband years later.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: Porn didn’t just affect your life; it affected everyone around you in ways I don’t think you can ever realize. It still affects me to this day as I realize the hold that it has on our society. I dread the day when I have to talk with my sweet little boy about pornography and its far-reaching greedy hands. When I tell him about how pornography, like most sins, affects far more than just us.

Like, I said, I have forgiven you. I am so thankful for the work that God has done in my life in this area. It is an area that I still struggle with from time to time, but I am thankful for God’s grace and also my husband’s. I do pray that you are past this and that the many men who struggle with this will have their eyes opened.

Love, Your Daughter”

I trust that the words of this letter are causing you to think and reflect on whichever aspect you relate to…

Whether you are the father who is struggling with an addiction, a wife who is struggling to keep a porn polluted marriage together, a daughter who finds her life forever effected or maybe these roles are reversed in your own situation –

…remember, you CAN be successful in your pursuit for purity and God wants to help you !

Marriages CAN be restored ! Families CAN thrive ! Lives CAN be made whole !

Please contact us –

The Flow

This study shows that when the Holy Ghost speaks through us – we are conduits…the portion of the brain controlling speech is not engaged. We should pray to be conduits and seek to remove any blockage of The Flow of the Spirit through us.

As we know – pornography is rampant in every demographic and desires to be a destroyer of both saved and unsaved alike. I encourage you to become familiar with and to be sensitive to those around you…understanding that as many as 70% of men, 40% of women and even 50% of ministers struggle with this problem.

We are standing against this giant on the battlefield and we WILL be victorious ! If you or anyone you know needs support or direction – please speak up – don’t let shame keep anyone bound because by its nature it secludes and destroys its victim…remember, we are only as sick as our secrets !

These two topics connect as the use of pornography and self gratification releases natural physical chemicals that cause us to become addicted – the act creates ruts in our physical brain. Those ruts will impede the path that the Holy Ghost wants to take through our thought process !

I want HIM to flow through every part of my life !

Community Accountability


I endeavor to consistently educate myself concerning pornography and the many ways our adversary uses it to destroy the lives of people. Statistics change and demographics seem to vary but there are some things that will always be the same…the devil is out to steal, kill and destroy ! There are many tactics used in waging warfare and so it is with the WAR against pornography…I want to take a minute tonight and address one part of our campaign for purity –

ACCOUNTABILITY….accountability is partly described as “responsibility” and is, if done correctly, well described by a good friend of mine as “holding a mans feet to the fire” .
We live in a society of people who are quick to point fingers and blame others…Moms fault, Dads fault, school teachers fault, religious leaders fault – anyone but my own.
This attitude, accompanied by its treacherous twin, “entitlement mentality” can quickly cause people to embrace an erroneous thought that they have a “right” to indulge and the belief that its not their fault – after all, they were created this way !
As a young man I learned a saying; “if it is to be, its up to me”…
I have endeavored to teach my sons this principle and I urge you to find a place in your life to reflect on this thought…
Take a good long look in the mirror, look yourself directly in the eyes and be honest with yourself about what you see…

Let us briefly glance at three areas of accountability that we must have actively involved in our lives :
– peer
– spouse/family
– personal by relationship with God

…as we finish with the last area of accountability I compel you to take some time looking into the mirror of Gods Word.

Many people have the concept that they can overcome pornography on their own, without help and each time they fall they are certain will be the last time…ever..
Anyone who has struggled with sexual sins for any length of time know that the moment after you have “given in” you can, with utmost confidence and conviction, promise that you will never
fall for that again (…again).

When we fall for the idea that we can beat porn addiction by ourselves we will remain frustrated in our pursuit for purity.
Simply put – WE NEED EACH OTHER !
Accountability MUST be more than just a programmed and programmable activity…
it has GOT to become a lifestyle !

Enter peers…James 5:16 of the King James Version of the Holy Bible says to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that ye may be healed”.
There are two steps mentioned here and both of them involve you talking to another…
First, you must find trustworthy peers that you can bare this secret to – because we are only as “sick as our secrets”.
These peers must also be people that you are not going to lie to.
The sickness will never heal until it is uncovered and treated in our lives.

Enter family…I have a wife and two kids and there is never a moment that they cannot immediately have my phone or device to do something with it.
My sons pick and retain my access code for the restrictions on my phone and even get to see what apps I download or delete.
If I will model good accountability in front of and with them – they will learn and run with the concept !
My wife has all of my passwords for everything that I own and free access to my messaging and phone records ( which should never be deleted without her looking at them first ).

Enter God…HE is, omni-present, an ever-present God…
HIS Word is the final word on any subject and I desire to please HIM in all that I do..
Being accountable to God is only logical, right ?
Then why do we find it so easy to sin – knowing that HE is seeing and watching all that we do ?
Its time that we rethink our relationship with GOD !
If we will seek HIM early, pray for the strength that we need and then remain mindful of HIM ~ if we will fall in love with HIM and love HIM with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength ~ if we will truly love HIM, we will seek to please HIM.

When we engage these areas in our lives and open ourselves to scrutiny and accountability from each area, we are surrounding ourselves and living a lifestyle of accountability.

Instead of picking one lone person to be accountable to, being accountable all across the board will provide more security and likelihood of catching a problem before it becomes a problem !
Its important that each person doesn’t assume the others are watching you – expand your base until you have enough people involved in your ” accountability portfolio ” that you are well covered.
Never give anyone any reason to be uncomfortable in asking you questions and never grumble !

There are many resource available on this topic and I will post a couple at the end of this post…
They are more thorough in execution but I felt God directed me to review MY personal approach to accountability and I find that a community accountability is a much more effective plan than a single individual trying to keep tabs on me !

These are just two to get you started on your way…take the time to research the most effective accountability system for your needs and employ that plan immediately !

Good decisions made today make good decisions tomorrow feel natural !

Time to Mobilize

Some see the state of what is needed around them and shrink back because the apparent enormity of effort necessary to straighten things out seems so far beyond our independent capacity.   Be of good cheer for I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.  Yes that includes you.

If the previous statement is true how much more the compounding affect of us working together!  We can annihilate these issues that are destroying our children, our families, and is attempting to destroy the Kingdom of God.  It is time to mobilize now and press forward to the expected end God has for us.

Join with us in praying for the destruction of the Pornography industry and all associated industries as well as the purification of the minds affected.  This would be a global prayer and we are calling you to bind with us in this endeavor.  I am confident in the membership of this websites ability to bring these things to pass through the Holy Ghost.

In Jesus Name we are overcoming and we shall be Victorious.

Reality or Illusion

I am faced with an incredible dilemma today.  Do I continue to allow Illusion into my life or do I only allow Reality.  Illusion often paints a rosier picture and is so appealing and is much to be desired.  Illusion rarely is pungent to my senses and often leaves me in a state of euphoria!  The problem is the Illusion is destroying me!  It is starving me to death.  It is decapitating my thoughts and all of my sensory perception to the point that I almost cannot sense what is real any more.  Reality you are just so mundane!

Do you find yourself thinking some of these very thoughts.  It is true that Illusion often outshines Reality as far as Grandeur goes, but what does that matter?

Reality states that we must do everything and take every step we can to protect those around us that we love.  That requires us to live in the Reality of understanding the toll that Sex and Porn Addiction is taking on those very ones we have been assigned to protect.  I have been reminded so very much lately that it there is an intense battle to keep up the Illusion and ignore the Reality.

Reality will not allow you to get caught up in the Illusion of mindless discussions of things that don’t matter while confronting us with the questions of the day that demand answers:

1.  Illusion says have you seen the latest dresses or fashion at the expense of asking have you had impure thoughts about the models displaying those dresses or fashions.

2. Illusion says did you see the Football game at the expense of asking the question of did you lust after the cheerleaders or the players depending on whether you are Man or Woman.

3.  Illusion asks whether you have seen the latest Television drama at the expense of asking how much time have you spent reading your Bible or meditating in prayer.

You see Illusion seems to be much more pleasing to the Senses at the expense of keeping yourself Pure in the eyes of Reality.

You must ask hard questions to become and stay Real:

1.  Have you viewed pornography today?

2. Have you had sexually impure thoughts today?

3. Have you masturbated today?

4. Have you spent time in prayer today?

5. Have you read your Bible today?

These are just a few of the questions to be asked.  If you don’t ask these hard questions you will continue to live in an Illusion and you will die the slow death of the malnourishment of the world of Illusion.

Take time today to push back from those things that appear to be comforting and take a hold of those things that will sustain you and please begin to ask Hard Questions and show those you love that you really do love them.

Everything depends on your Next Action

What would we do if we took the approach described in the title of this post?  How would we change our daily interactions and how would we measure our daily success?

When facing the challenges we have to deal with in society most people would prefer not to confront the reality they are facing.  Some do confront these challenges and my hat is off to those that have the courage to do so.

I believe it was Rosa Parks that stated that Confidence will diminish fear.  The only way to have confidence is to educate yourself and confront your lack of education.  I encourage you to do so today.

Please enjoy the article from Focus on the Family that is linked below:

Porn Proof Your Marriage

Condoning What We Don’t Understand

It has become common within Christian ranks to approve of masturbation as long as lust or pornography is not involved.  After all it is technically not sex and there is no perversion in the mind, so what can be harmful?  Fornication is sin whether with yourself or someone else and masturbation is fornicating with yourself.  We must give a proper definition of what is right or wrong when dealing with Sexual Addictions.

A young person and adult alike has to know what the specific barriers and boundaries are when trying to extricate themselves from this Abyss of Despair!  When we as Christian Leaders allow a definition into our vernacular that originates from somewhere other than the Word of God we are at risk of furthering the problem and entangling those coming out even further.  We must not give sanctity to something because it is convenient.

The new buzz word in schools is that Pornography/Sexual addiction is the new drug.  How convenient that we can allow this addiction because after all it isn’t cocaine, heroin or meth!  It won’t land them in jail and they are sexual beings after all.  That is like saying go ahead pull the trigger I only loaded the gun with BB’s.    This problem is a Sin Problem and it must be dealt with totally and without exception.

Again MOM, DAD, PASTOR, YOUTH PASTOR, ELDER, TRUSTEE, MINISTER, LEADER the amount of people under you leadership suffering from all or some of these issues is GREATER THAN 50 PERCENT.   How effective is your next Sermon or Motivational Speech or Word of Encouragement going to be if you don’t recognize and define what is going on around you?

Awareness is Discernment

I am thinking of what the New Year holds for many including myself.  Many will enter this New Year trapped by the Shame of their addictions.  Indeed I was trapped by a lack of understanding of truly how many are suffering in this Prison of Shame.  I know that I must bring Awareness to the issue of Pornography addiction, but Awareness alone will not stem the tide or build a Barrier strong enough to withstand this onslaught!

I firmly believe that any leader spiritual or secular worth their weight must take action on this issue or your leadership is in a decaying state.  What we continue to ignore today will not only haunt us, but it will destroy us.  This is true of any systematic problem within our ranks.

He Set Me Free is not only going to bring awareness to this issue we will fill the vacuum created by stripping away the layers of shame and rebuke with Godly principles that Advance the Kingdom of God.  We will define sex and sexuality along with right and wrong the way God has ordained for it to be defined.  We will fill these voids and vacuums with the proper definitions of thoughts and behaviors that will allow a person, young and old alike to escape this prison once and for all.

Enjoy the article reposted below from website  It will bring you further awareness to what we are facing.

Pornography’s Devastating Impact

Rewired Relationships

JANUARY 31, 2014

Pornography is entering the mainstream. You need to know about its effects!

Source: Thinkstock

Picture a consummate business professional. He can always be counted on by colleagues to “close the deal.” He is sharp, well-spoken and organized. He has a wife and two children, and works hard to build a solid foundation for them.

Out-of-town trips require him to travel for days at a time. When away, he sincerely misses his family and they miss him. During these trips, he makes a point to call home and talk to them. He asks his oldest daughter how her day went and “tucks” his youngest daughter in bed. He typically ends the call speaking to his wife. He reminds her of the best time to pick him up from the airport, tells her he loves her, says goodbye, and hangs up.

What now?

Glancing at the remote control on the bed, he suddenly feels a rush. He has experienced this before. Turning on the television, he recalls the immediate access he has to channels filled with make-believe realms that fulfill his fantasies, all of which are easily attainable from the convenience of his hotel suite. The next day, he emerges from his room and no one is aware of what he has watched.

This scenario is a long way from the sleaze and scandal associated with pornography in decades past. Today, many indulge themselves in this form of entertainment, some with little or no guilt before, during or afterward.

In its varying degrees, pornography is everywhere. A study by the organization Concerned Women for America (CWFA) revealed, “Hotel chains such as Marriott and Hilton earn about $190 million per year from in-room pay-per-view porn videos.”

The report continued: “According to The New Wall Street, ‘[B]ased on estimates provided by the hotel industry, at least half of all guests buy adult movies’…‘Estimates by analysts cited in the Los Angeles Times suggest that adult features generate approximately half of total hotel pay-per-view revenue in the United States, approximately $250 million annually.’”

Through the Internet, porn is also readily available on desktop computers, laptops and smartphones. Because of this, the nonprofit organization Family Safe Media reported that every second $3,075.64 is spent on pornography, 28,258 Internet users view pornography, and 372 Internet users type adult terms into search engines.

Expand ImageCatering to demand: Advertisements for an adult emporium are visible on a street in the Pigalle district of Paris, France (Jan. 12, 2011).

Source: Loic Venance/AFP/Getty Images

The expanded availability of illicit materials means that its audience is also greater. The average age a child is first exposed to Internet pornography is 11 years old. And a staggering 90 percentof all 8- to 16-year-olds have viewed porn online—most of them while doing homework!

In fact, viewing pornography actually rewires the brain: “Pornography’s growth has been extraordinary; it accounts for 25 percent of video rentals and is the fourth most common reason people give for going online,” author Norman Doidge wrote in his book The Brain That Changes Itself.

He added: “Softcore pornography’s influence is now most profound because, now that it is no longer hidden it influences young people with little sexual experience and especially plastic minds, in the process of forming their sexual tastes and desires. Yet the plastic influence of pornography on adults can also be profound, and those who use it have no sense of the extent to which their brains are reshaped by it.”

The issue extends beyond pictures and videos as pornographic prose routinely finds its way into homes through “romance” novels and other innocent-looking volumes. Upscale shops cater to married couples looking to spice up their love lives. Partners looking for thrills can easily enter these environments, which are designed to be clean and welcoming.

Socially conservative groups decry the entire industry as an offense to traditional religious and social values. Feminists say the practice demeans and/or harms women. Yet these voices can be likened to a gentle breeze opposite gale force winds.

Although previously seen as taboo, as time goes on and pornography becomes more entrenched into mainstream society, many are asking: “Is it really all that bad?”

“Sex Sells”

Almost everyone has heard the phrase “sex sells.” Sex in media—ranging from partial nudity in music videos and fashion shows, to soft-core advertisements, to hard-core pornographic movies—is a proven concept that lines the pockets of companies and individuals.

Expand ImageSource: Thinkstock

The mindset of some businesses, including many common corporate names, is demonstrated by an underwriting representative from the financial securities sector, as reported by CWFA, “‘I’m not a weirdo or a pervert, it’s not my deal. I’ve got kids and a family. But if I can see as an underwriter going out and making bucks on people being weird, hey, dollars are dollars. I’m not selling drugs. It’s Wall Street.’”

In describing the porn industry’s quest to find new, efficient media for their products, USA Today reported: “Online pornographers have been among the first to exploit new technology for more than a decade—from video-streaming and fee-based subscriptions to pop-up ads and electronic billing. Their bold experimentation has helped make porn one of the most profitable online industries, and their ideas are staples at Fortune 500 companies.”

Watching America’s most popular sport, football, on its biggest stage, the Super Bowl, with family illustrates the extent of the sex-and-advertising connection. From the tightly clad entertainers in the opening segment to the cheerleaders’ seductive movements to the partially clothed half-time entertainment to the sexually suggestive commercials—sex is everywhere.

The average citizen is joining in on the action and cashing in on pornography’s profits as well. Brick-and-mortar outlets are no longer a requirement to turn a profit. Many websites showcase “amateur porn”—home videos of regular people engaging in sex—and charge subscription fees to access such video collections. YouTube and similar social media sites also allow or link directly to explicit material.

Just how big is the pornography business? The following statistics were collected by Family Safe Media from a number of credible sources. Though somewhat dated, the nonprofit organization provides the most comprehensive look at a subject for which it is generally difficult to collect data.

  • Total porn revenue worldwide: $97 billion.
  • Total porn revenue in the U.S.: $13.33 billion. This exceeds the combined revenues of ABCCBS andNBC.
  • Daily pornographic search engine requests: 68 million—25 percent of total search engine requests.
  • Internet users who view porn: 42.7 percent.
  • Pornographic websites: 4.2 million—12 percent of total websites.
  • Pornographic pages: 420 million.
  • Worldwide visitors to pornographic websites: 72 million monthly.
  • U.S. adults who regularly visit Internet pornography websites: 40 million.
  • Men who admit to accessing it at work: 20 percent.
  • Women who admit to accessing it at work: 13 percent.

This overexposure and societal desensitization has resulted in pornographers pushing the envelope through ever-more bizarre content to hold the attention of their audience. This attests to society’s growing obsession and carefree attitude toward the “adult” industry—and its concrete place as a highly profitable venture.

Historical Context

Viewing such material is far from new. The term pornography combines the Greek words porne, meaning prostitute, and graphein, meaning to write. Hence, it technically can mean “to write about prostitutes.” The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as any depiction of erotic behavior in material intended to cause sexual excitement.

According to Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia: “The ancient Greeks used pornographic themes in songs in Dionysian festivals, and ancient Romans painted pornographic pictures on walls in the ancient city of Pompeii. Pornography was also prevalent in some ancient Eastern cultures, such as those of India, Japan, and China…”

The Naples National Archaeological Museum in Italy is famous for its vast collection of sexually explicit objects excavated by archaeologists. The bizarre nature of the items and their elaborate details show the extent to which pornography was part of Roman culture.

The invention of the printing press further helped the spread of pornographic materials. By the 18th century, the “production of written and visual materials to appeal to audiences of all socioeconomic levels and sexual tastes” was common, Encyclopaedia Britannica stated.

Because of the intense demand, pornography became a viable business. Britannica stated that when “Queen Victoria came to the throne in Great Britain in 1837, there were more than 50 pornographic shops on Holywell Street (known as ‘Booksellers’ Row’) in London” (emphasis added).

While the public’s taste for pornography appeared to wane in the Victorian Era (1837-1901), it really just took another form. Prominent artists created works that turned what was technically pornography into more of an art form. These “culturally refined” nudes were considered classy and tasteful. This trend made sexually explicit material palatable to the upper class and scholars who would have otherwise found such subject matter morally reprehensible.

Despite efforts to redefine and expand the industry, overt pornography soon came under legal scrutiny. The Obscene Publications Act of 1857, considered the world’s first statutory law criminalizing pornography, gave British courts the power to seize and destroy offending material. America followed suit with the Comstock Act of 1873, which also included a provision banning obscene materials from being sent through the mail.

While mainstream society continued to view pornography negatively until the beginning of the 20th century, like alcohol during Prohibition, outlawing it only seemed to encourage interest. As with the printing press, further technological advancements were adapted to allow ease of access to such material.

According to Encyclopaedia Britannica: “Pornographic films were widely available no later than the 1920s, and in the 1960s their popularity enjoyed a massive upsurge. The development of videocassettes in the 1980s and digital videodiscs (DVDs) in the 1990s enabled the wide distribution of pornographic films and further encouraged their use because they could be viewed in private.”

Britannica later stated: “Pornographic images and films became even more widely available with the emergence of the Internet in the 1990s. The pornographic industry became one of the most profitable on the Internet. Apart from providing a vast marketplace for commercial pornography appealing to many diverse tastes, the Internet also encouraged many amateurs to post images of themselves…The use of webcams opened the industry even further to amateurs, allowing individuals to post live depictions of themselves, often for fees.”

Coming up with a distinct and concise definition of pornography has generally been difficult due to its somewhat subjective nature. In 1964, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart encapsulated this point well when, while attempting to come up with an adequate description for obscenity for a court case, he wrote, “…I could never succeed in [coming up with a shorthand description of hard-core pornography]. But I know it when I see it…”

While technology and the pursuit of profits have served to greatly increase pornography’s current impact and level of popularity, what about its effects? Is it really a harmless form of entertainment?

Unintended Effects

There is a saying, “A tree is recognized by its fruit.” Usually an allusion to a person’s character, this phrase is helpful when judging the “fruit” or impact of something, in this case pornography—and ultimately deciding whether it harms its viewers.

Consider. Pornography is meant to increase sexual excitement, leaving people wanting to fulfill what they view. An “I want more” mentality takes hold. This craving for sexual gratification can lead to increased encounters (as well as unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and even cervical cancer), and sex-related crimes (child molestation, sexual assault and battery, rape, etc.). Pornography is a clear-cut case of feeding the “lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes,” as one of the oldest books that details the purpose of sex, the Bible, states in I John 2:16.

Pornography unnaturally elevates sex in the mind. While some married couples view illicit material as a way of enlivening or enhancing their own sexual relations, it instead creates the opposite effect, causing a viewer to compare his sex life to that of those on screen—where all things appear much more glamorous and arousing. In effect, he becomes disinterested in his spouse, or is driven to further sexual experimentation to keep up with the scintillations provided by porn.

Viewing such material also leads to sexual addictions and further perversions. For example, porn sites often link to other sites depicting other types of sexual perversion: child porn, homosexuality, bestiality, masochism, sadism, rape and other abominations.

Pornography has also been linked to incest and child molestation. Police often find porn on an offender’s computer or in his home. Data from a study published in the Journal of Family Violence showed that 85 percent of men convicted of possessing, receiving or distributing Internet-based child pornography admitted to sexually abusing a child at least once—with the average offender molesting 13.5 victims!

Clearly, the expansion of pornography is creating a more sexually aggressive society of individuals who have opened themselves up to a new interpretation of what sex should be. These results cannot simply be written off as innocent byproducts of a harmless industry.

Impact on the Family

As negative as these results are, porn has a further devastating impact on families, as reported by Deseret News.

“Dorothy Maryon, a licensed professional counselor with the LifeSTAR Network in Salt Lake City who specializes in counseling the spouses of those who compulsively view pornography, said it is a betrayal for women to discover their partner has been looking outside the marriage for sexual gratification—even on a computer screen.

“‘I can’t overemphasize the trauma part of it,’ said Maryon. ‘It changes the way they view their partner. The damage that has been done changes the way they view themselves…It creates a relationship for her that feels very unsafe,’ Maryon said. ‘She wonders what is real. She doubts her own intuition, her own judgment…It throws her faith into crisis. She views her body differently. She asks herself, “How can I compete?”’

“Maryon said most women don’t distinguish between an affair, an escort service, and pornography. One client, trying to help Maryon understand the scope of her husband’s betrayal, said she knows of men who have only ‘been with one woman.’ Then she added, ‘My husband has been with thousands.’”

Pornography often leads to divorce. Some married couples who view it go on to adulterous relationships. This fact should come as little surprise when considering what Jesus Christ said in the gospel of Matthew when defining adultery: “You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matt. 5:27-28).

In this passage, Jesus makes it unmistakably clear that indulging in pornography is a form of adultery.

This reality is vital to understand because some make the mistake of seeing pornography as an innocent alternative to engaging in an extramarital affair. Yet studies of the brain have shown that the mind does not readily differentiate such real versus imagined experiences. Therefore, to the brain, there is virtually no difference between viewing pornographic material and an actual sexual encounter with another person, especially when recalling the experience.

Men tend to make up the largest consumer base for pornography. They account for 72 percent of visitors to pornographic sites compared to 28 percent being women. This is partly because men tend to be more visually stimulated as compared to women.

Pornography, however, is no longer just a problem for men. A growing number of women are also becoming addicted to porn. According to statistics, about one in three who visit pornographic websites are women—bringing the number who viewed pornography online monthly to 9.4 million, according to Family Safe Media.

Realize these staggering numbers only refer to viewers. They do not address the actors in film and video productions, and the negative impact pornography has on them, including the possibility of contracting AIDS.

Clearly, pornography is anything but “harmless entertainment.” It is warping and distorting the purpose of sex—turning it into a means of satisfying one’s lusts. In all, it creates a lack of natural human emotion and feelings.

Partaking in porn has many side effects that most simply overlook in pursuit of their own pleasure. Yet pornography has much deeper consequences than even its staunchest opponents realize. To firmly grasp this, one must first understand there is a supreme and divine purpose for mankind.

Overarching Purpose

Mankind’s true purpose of existence is connected to the gospel found in the Bible. Many people in and out of mainstream Christianity have heard of this term and there are nearly as many interpretations of its meaning as there are people interpreting it.

This gospel (or good news), which reveals God’s awesome purpose for creating mankind, is not readily understood by the average person. Jesus confirmed this: “And He said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables…” (Mark 4:11). Not only is the true knowledge of the gospel a mystery to most, but the understanding of it must be “given.”

According to God’s Word, every human being has a “spirit.” (This is not to be confused with the Holy Spirit, which is a gift from God as stated in Acts 2:38.) The following verses make this clear: “But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty gives them understanding” (Job 32:8). Also “…theLord … stretches forth the heavens, and lays the foundation of the earth, and forms the spirit of man within him” (Zech. 12:1).

It is this spirit that separates human beings from animals. Animals function through God-given instinct, which is like being pre-programmed to perform certain functions. Mankind, on the other hand, operates through the power of the mind (another way to describe this human spirit). It is this mind or spirit that imparts judgment, reasoning and creativity into human beings.

As brilliant as is the spirit in man, unlike God’s Spirit, it has limitations. It does not give life to a person nor does it have its own consciousness. It takes information from the body’s sensory organs—eyes, ears, nose, tastebuds and skin—and enables a person to interpret it accordingly.

The other significant limitation of the spirit in man is that, by itself, it can only understand physical knowledge. The mind of a man cannot properly interpret spiritual knowledge from God. Incidentally, this explains why so many are confused or find it difficult to properly interpret Scripture.

Paul explains further, “…the things of God knows no man, but the Spirit of God…But the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (I Cor. 2:1114).

It is the Holy Spirit of God dwelling in a person that allows him to begin to understand “the things of God.” This includes understanding the “mystery of the kingdom of God.”

God, who is Spirit (John 4:24), reveals that He is expanding His Family by reproducing Himself through human beings. Within God’s overall plan of salvation, man can eventually be born into the kingdom of God and be composed of spirit just as God is.

This is part of what Jesus explained in the familiar yet generally misunderstood account in the book of John. Christ said that even though someone is born once to a fleshly (or physical) parent, it is also possible to be “born again”—only this time to a Spirit parent (John 3:8).

(While it is not the purpose of this article to detail this fascinating understanding, request Editor-in-Chief David C. Pack’s free booklet What Does “Born Again” Mean? You will be astounded at the true meaning of this often misused phrase.)

The realization that God is reproducing Himself sets up the opportunity to begin understanding the lasting negative effects of pornography.

Why Sex?

God, as the Creator of all things, created sex for a purpose. It is the product of much planning and forethought. Like all of His Creation, upon completion, sex was deemed “very good” (Gen. 1:31).

One obvious purpose for sex is reproduction. All animals engage in various forms to produce offspring. Human beings were given this ability by God, who also attached a command to it: “…Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…” (Gen. 1:28).

God, however, did not stop with this instruction. In the book of Genesis and other Scriptures, He also instructed mankind about the proper uses of sex—including its place in a proper marriage relationship. The pornography obsession ruins this connection.

Sex, when viewed as it was intended, is a profound expression of love between a husband and wife. This is not an act of selfish, “what’s in it for me” behavior with the label of “love” attached to it, but instead is the giving of one’s self to satisfy his or her spouse. Sex was created to be a pleasurable experience and a gift from God to mankind, which was created “in His own image” (Gen. 1:27).

Pornography warps one’s view of sexual relations. It turns contact with the opposite sex into pure sexual gratification. It corrupts a viewer’s understanding of the proper use of sex. Instead of expressing love between a husband and wife, it is twisted into an act of self-fulfillment, regardless of the other person’s needs or wants. No wonder pornography has such a negative impact on marriages!

God set up the family unit as the basis for a healthy and prosperous society, and to demonstrate how He interacts with mankind. God, as the “Father which is in heaven” (Matt. 6:9) certainly knows the importance of domestic relationships. He designed the family unit to model how He reproduces and eventually leads His children. The expression of love toward one’s spouse through sex illustrates the spiritual reproduction process and His willingness to give of Himself for the benefit of others.

It should not be difficult to see how pornography distorts the true purpose of sex. Instead of a means to express love in a monogamous, committed, marital relationship, sex instead becomes a way for an individual to indulge in his own pleasure at the expense of his mate and family.

Pornography’s True Impact

As has been seen, pornography destroys relationships. It turns sex into merely a means of satisfying one’s lusts. Instead of carrying out sex the way God designed and appreciating what it parallels, people have continually sought to redefine it—bringing about a new morality in which any and every form of sex is accepted (and new forms are always welcome).

To learn much more about God’s purpose for sex, its intended role in a marriage relationship, and information about proper “sex education” for your family, read David C. Pack’s thorough book Sex – Its Unknown Dimension.

God designed sex as a beautiful act within marriage and as a way to draw couples together. It is a gift that God—the Creator and Designer of all things—gave to mankind to engage in as He intended.