Protect your kids

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“Health experts are warning that Internet pornography has become “the new crack cocaine” for American youth, with one-third of 10-year-olds and more than half of 12─15-year-olds freely accessing it.”

This excerpt is from an article that deserves your attention…

Please take a few moments to read it at……. http://t.co/SUFN3Zs6dJ/s/E_0Gy

Chatsworth CA

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Chatsworth, California……………produces 85% of the world’s adult content. All of the top female talent agencies are located in or within the Chatsworth local radius. Female performers are flown or fly to Chatsworth to work in the adult industry. All of the world’s top male talents live or travel to Chatsworth California for work. Every major and minor adult DVD Company is in the local Chatsworth radius.

. . . .

According to recent pornography stats:

It is estimated that there are 4.2 million porn Web sites—12% of the total amount of sites—allowing access to 72 million worldwide visitors monthly.
One-quarter of the total daily search engine requests, or 68 million, are for pornographic material, where 40 million Americans are regular visitors.
According to comScore Media Metrix, 71.9 million people visited adult sites in August 2005, reaching 42.7 percent of the Internet audience.
The United States adult film industry produces 4,000–11,000 films a year and earns an estimated $9–$13 billion in gross revenues annually.
An estimated 200 production companies employ 1,200–1,500 performers. Performers typically earn $400–$1,000 per shoot and are not compensated based on distribution or sales.
Lobbyist Bill Lyon told 60 Minutes that the porn industry employs 12,000 people in California and pays the state $36 million in taxes per year. When 60 Minutes first spoke to Lyon, he was running the free speech coalition, a trade organization that represents 900 companies in the porn business.

Its time to to take the porn industry and Chatsworth, CA before the Kings throne for a just and equitable verdict on behalf of every man, woman and child who have ever been unrighteously damaged by the god of this world !

lets pull down the enemies kingdom in Jesus Name !

Let freedom ring in Jesus Name !

Honor Concept

Bill Newton’s remarks to the Naval Academy Class of 2019 concerning the “Honor Concept.”

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“I would like to tell you that I have fond memories of these July Plebe Summer nights; but that would be a lie. What I remember is exhaustion, and sweat running down my back, trying to stay awake in an un-air-conditioned auditorium, watching “Victory at Sea” reruns.

Right now I want you to pay attention because what I have to say to you is important: important to you personally and important to you professionally. Therefore if you see your classmate nodding off, elbow them and wake them up.

1972, Viet Nam, Hanoi was surrounded by Surface to Air missile sites. Our mission was to destroy those sites, to protect the next few day’s missions of 100’s of aircrews who would risk their lives hitting targets all over Hanoi. Flying at 100-500 feet above the deck that night, the anti-aircraft fire was so thick coming up at us that it felt like flying through a 4th of July fireworks display. The seven missiles that they shot at us were so close, they made us veer from our flight plan.

In those days there were no smart bombs, only dumb ones. We missed our target!

What do you say in the debriefing room when your skipper is present, listening, awaiting the news of a success, so he can tell the Air Group Commander, who wants to crow to the Captain, who wants to crow to the Admiral?

Will you tell the truth? We did. Our skipper was furious, we caught hell, but the next days’ missions knew the truth. Lives were saved.

January 1986, Cape Kennedy a group of engineers are working in the space-program. A space shuttle launch depends on your word.
• NASA and Middle Management want to launch, bonuses depend on the liftoff going on time.
• Upper management wants to launch. Billions in investment depend on this launch under these specific conditions.
• Most importantly, 7 crew members’ lives depend on your word.
You know with 100% certainty that the “O” rings on the boosters will fail at the cold temperature present at the time of the launch. Will you tell the truth or fold under pressure?
• They folded.
• The space shuttle challenger exploded, seven lives were lost,
• I lost my best friend Mike Smith a 67 grad, and NASA was set back three years.
• Lack of honor has consequences.

1991, Iraq. General Georges Sada, retired Iraqi Air Force general, is invited by Saddam Hussein to critique a briefing of the plan for the Iraqi Air Force to attack Israel with chemical weapons. You listen. You process. What do you tell Saddam after the briefing, when you know the mission is a suicide mission, a fool’s errand, because of Israel’s air superiority? The last general who told Saddam something he didn’t want to hear was shot on the spot. Will you tell the truth? Sada told the truth, God spared his life. The mission never flew.

Will you tell the truth?

The answer if you are a Naval Academy Graduate ought to be, “You will tell the truth every time!” No matter what!

Why? Because the Naval Academy will spend the next four years teaching you habits: habits of a warrior. And one of the most necessary habits of a true warrior is “Telling the truth, always!”
• If it makes you look good fine.
• If it makes you look bad, so be it.
• If it hurts, you learn to live with it.
• The truth should and hopefully will become a part of your DNA.
• A lifelong habit. A part of who you are!

The coin that you will get tonight will not make you tell the truth, …………….but it will remind you, of who you are – a Naval Academy Graduate – and they tell the truth!

There are 1000’s of ways to lie and most of them come to us quite easily. Cheating and stealing are two! Every parent can tell you, “You don’t have to teach a child to lie – it comes naturally!”

As we age we become more sophisticated in our lying. Politicians have perfected the art of lying, making it seem as right and natural as breathing.
• Embellishing.
• Failing strategically to remember.
• Omitting critical details.
• Including selective points.
• Conveniently forgetting specifics.
• Spinning is the current word used for sophisticated lying.

In the next four years you will be tempted to engage in these and a thousand other variations of the ancient art of lying, that began with Satan and Adam and Eve.

The coin, given to you tonight, has many purposes, but one critical one is this:

• To cause you to decide tonight, when that coin touches your hand, that when temptation comes, you have willfully decided what you will do. You will tell the truth!
• If it means getting demerits.
• If it means a lower grade.
• If it means a classmate gets in trouble.
• If it means embarrassment.
• If it means pushups until your arms crater.
• No matter what. You will tell the truth!

You are not politicians, you are not what you used to be, you are Naval Academy Graduates in training, and they tell the truth.
My classmates, giving you the coins, have built careers on truth. Each has a unique story. Ask them for a story! I know I could trust every one with my life, because of their honor and truthfulness. That is a gift greater than silver or gold.

Take the coin. Decide tonight what you will do when you face your temptation. And every time you reach in your pocket and finger that coin, remind yourself why that coin is there. It is there to remind you:

1. You made a decision and
2. Who you are.

1. You made a decision to always tell the truth; and
2. Who you are. You are a Naval Academy Graduate in waiting; and Naval Academy Graduates tell the truth.

May God be with you in your journey!”

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I have chosen to share Mr Newtons address in light of this ONE simple principle…

~ we are only as sick as our secrets ~

NO amount of education, accountability or aversion therapy will help the individual who chooses to lie to his support group, his God and himself –

Regain control, regain pure momentum, regain self confidence, regain truth …

John 8:32 (KJV) promises  “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”!

Rebuild Your Marriage

Rebuild Your Marriage
Couples Using Porn: Does it increase sexual satisfaction?
Written by Luke Gilkerson
Many people claim porn can increase a couple’s sexual satisfaction—making us excited about sex with our partner and giving us fresh ideas in the bedroom.

The fact that people watch porn because they find it exciting and pleasurable isn’t up for debate. But is watching porn really conducive to true intimacy and real sexual satisfaction?

Porn Use is the Norm
Among the rising adult generation, many men and women see continued porn use acceptable, even while in a longterm relationship. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found, among young adults:

The largest group (70% of men and 56% of women) say porn use is acceptable while in a relationship, whether it is used individually or by a couple.

The next largest group (22% of men and 26% of women) say porn use is unacceptable because of being in a committed relationship.
The smallest group (5% of men and 13% of women) believe porn use is always unacceptable.
For the majority of young Americans, pornography use—at least as long as it doesn’t become obsessive—is not seen as a problem for couples in a romantic relationship.

Spicing Up the Erotic Climate
In one sense, it shouldn’t surprise us that couples who use porn in the bedroom might have seemingly high levels of sexual satisfaction. Compared to couples that have different convictions about whether porn is healthy or moral, or compared to couples where one partner is sneaking around to look at porn, couples that use porn together are at least on the same page.

The research bears this out:

One study in the journal Personal Relationships found the more men watch porn for personal masturbation, the less sexually satisfied these men feel, but the more men and women watched porn together during lovemaking, the more sexually satisfied men feel.
Another study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found when only one partner uses porn, this can lead to arousal problems in men and negative self-perceptions in women, but when couples used porn together to enhance their sex life, there is a “more permissive erotic climate” in the relationship—i.e. men and women communicate more about their sexual fantasies and desires.
Bigger Orgasms ≠ Better Intimacy
However, when we investigate the matter of couples viewing porn together, we are often asking the wrong questions—or at least making the wrong comparisons. The question is not whether shared porn use bodes well for relationships compared to solitary use for masturbation. The question is not whether honesty about porn use is healthier than dishonesty.

A better question is whether couples watching porn together is optimal for real intimacy.

In other words, there’s no doubt communication about sexual expectations and fantasies is good for couples. There’s no doubt honesty and eliminating secrecy is good for relationships. Of course couples can benefit from being adventurous or keeping things fresh in the bedroom. But why is porn needed for any of that? Moreover, what needless side effects can be avoided if we pursue sexual vibrancy without the aid of porn?

According to a study of unmarried couples published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, compared to those who watch porn alone and those those who watch porn with their partner, those who don’t view any porn at all have much lower rates of infidelity—and this should hardly surprise us.

If we are using the erotic images of others to turn us on in the act of lovemaking, the focus of our attention is not our partner. As couples watch porn together, they only reinforce the notion that attraction to others is expected and even encouraged. Instead of working to cement a bond where your partner is your standard of beauty, you communicate, “I need someone more to turn me on.”

According to research from Drs. Dolf Zillmann and Jennings Bryant, regular exposure to porn—even over a short period—can produce the following effects in both men and women:

A decrease in sexual satisfaction – Individuals begin to rate their partner’s physical appearance, affection, and sexual performance next to what they observe pornographic films.
A devaluing of commitment – Individuals begin to undervalue the importance of marriage, the idea of having children, or the importance of faithfulness in a relationship.
A dehumanization of women – Individuals begin to believe all women are as hysterically euphoric about sex as porn actresses, and they show a drop in support for women’s rights in society.
A desensitization to cruelty – Individuals begin to believe activities like anal sex, group sex, and S&M are more common in society, and they tend to trivialize sexual violence.
A desire for more porn – Individuals begin to crave more porn, more varieties of porn, and harder material.
Better sex is not measured by bigger orgasms. The big O of sex is not orgasm; it is oneness. And we don’t achieve this kind of intimacy staring at pixels on the screen.

Learn more about these psychological effects of pornography in the free book, Your Brain on Porn. Download a free digital copy now.

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When I ask men about their sexual behavior, most guys are surprisingly honest when anonymity is a factor. We’ve spoken about porn, oral sex, prostitution, lust, marriage, thoughts, immorality, intimacy, desires, homosexuality, masturbation, sexual abuse, incest, greed, and idolatry. I’ve eaten meals with pastors, executives, bankers, doctors, religious people, church planters, frat guys, students, entrepreneurs, traffickers, and average guys that work 40 hours a week and stay relatively pure.

The Majority of Us Are Sexually Broken

Most of us had absent fathers. 1 in 5 of us were sexually abused. Every one of us has learned the art of concealing sin. Around 80% of men in the church are currently using pornography. Some of us don’t need a girlfriend because we’re in full-fledged relationship with our hand or laptop. And some of us know the feeling of cold emptiness after leaving a strip club or a brothel. Some of you men know what it’s like to go to sleep next to an empty shell of a woman that used to be your wife because your infatuation with photoshopped women has extinguished the intimacy. You’re no longer lovers, you’re roommates with children. Some of you are fathers that see your sexual sin manifested in your children, but you’re too fearful to expose it in your own life regardless of the damage its doing to your marriage and family. “What if coming out with this stuff makes things worse?” is the only question you’ve thought of.

I know where you’re at. I know what you’re thinking. And I know the lies you’re deceived by. I’ve been where some of you are.

You Love Porn…And Jesus?

A good friend of mine has battled sexual addiction all of his life. He’s a graduate of Bible college and is part of a healthy church. He’s got a lovingly invasive community and has had numerous Godly mentors pushing him towards Jesus for the last 7 years, but he still uses pornography every chance he gets—disabling the X3 watch on his phone and computer. If he’s alone for longer than 30 minutes with an internet connection, he begins searching for filth. He still habitually masturbates. He lies about his sin. He conceals his secrets. He manipulates Christian women into sinning with him, then he lies about that. He exemplifies the epitome of selfishness and a lack of self control.

But he also calls Jesus his Lord…Are you that guy? It’s sometimes confusing to me when men can be sexually enslaved while following Jesus, yet that’s what the overwhelming majority of them tend to be living. Can the two coexist? Are they diametrically opposed? Isn’t one the antithesis of the other?

Still Enslaved

I’m not going to quote your favorite authors or offer free accountability software. I don’t have a PDF to read or an invitation to a men’s conference. You’ve probably already tried those things. You’ve read books and made countless commitments, which you’ve broken. You’ve tried accountability. You’ve gone through a “freedom season.” You’ve confessed your sin. You’ve been rebuked. You’ve disconnected the internet. You’ve been kicked out of the house. You’ve destroyed the computer. You’ve memorized the Word of God. You’ve pleaded with Jesus to remove the thorn in your flesh. You’ve shouted, screamed, and wept. You’ve tried everything and you’re still shackled.

A Different Kind of Image

Just imagine for a moment that this is reality: You’re on a battlefield. It’s dark. Chaotic. Cold wind is whipping your face. The stench of death fills the air. Corpses of demons lie all around you and the field is soaked in blood. You can hear the sounds of armor and weapons colliding while sparks are flying. Screams pierce your ears.

You see chiseled, powerful beings radiating in white and they’re destroying shadows, gripping the throats of principalities and slitting them with iridescent blades. But you’re without armor. You wonder how you got to this place and why you came unprepared.

Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.

Men that you recognize are rushing the opposite direction—spears aligned, ready to throw. Swords sharpened, shields fixed, helmets lowered they’re ready for battle. They’re calling for you to join them. They’re rushing for the the front lines—they’re unafraid. They know they’ve been given victory.

But not you. You’ve got your pants down around your ankles. You’re roaming in circles looking for the seductress that’s calling you by name. You can’t wait to fornicate on the battlefield.

And all the while, the kingdom is coming. The lost are being found. The sick are being healed. Demonic assignments are being cancelled. The veil is being lifted off of false religion and the persecuted church is exponentially growing in the face of opposition. Jesus is authoritatively mediating a covenant—the Spirit is interceding for the children of God, breathing life into dry bones.

You? You want an orgasm.

A Reminder of Who You Are

You are God’s child
John 1:12
You are a friend of Jesus
John 15:15
You have been justified
Romans 5:1
You’ve been united with the Lord and are one with him in Spirit
1 Cor 6:17
You’ve been bought with a price…you belong to God
1 Cor 6:19-20
You’re a member of Christ’s body
1 Cor 12:27
You’ve been chosen by God and adopted as his child
Eph 1:3-8
You’ve been redeemed and forgiven of all your sins
Col 1:13-14
You are complete in Christ
Col 2:9-10
You have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus
Heb 4:14-16
You are free from condemnation
Rom 8:1-2
You cannot be separated from the love of God
Rom 8:28
You are free from any condemning charges against you
Rom 8:31-34
You’ve been established, anointed, and sealed
2 Cor 1:21-22
You were washed…you were sanctified. You were justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God
1 Cor 6:11
You are hidden with Christ in God
Col 3:1-4
God started this work in you, and he will bring it to completion
Phil 1:1-6
You are a citizen of heaven
Phil 3:20
You haven’t been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind
2 Tim 1:7
You are born of God, and the evil one cannot touch you
1 John 5:18
You are a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of his life
John 15:5
You have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit
John 15:16
You are God’s temple
1 Cor 3:16
You are a minister of reconciliation
2 Cor 5:17-21
You are seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm
Eph 2:6
You are God’s workmanship
Eph 2:10
You can approach God with freedom and confidence – not because of your obedience, but because of Jesus’ obedience
Eph 3:12
When you are faithless, he will remain faithful, because he cannot deny himself
2 Tim 2:13
Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? (Heb 12:1-5).

You’ve been eating with the pigs long enough. Come home, son.

this powerful post was written by Tony Anderson …

Defeat lust and pornography

 

 

 

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Fighting Porn Addiction: The Key Missing Weapon
Written by Luke Gilkerson
There are many important weapons a man or woman should use when fighting porn addiction:

– blocking all entry points for porn,
– identifying your triggers,
– finding and eliminating those “grey areas” where the lust can breed,
– learning how to deal with your fantasies before they lead to porn,
– personally exploring the ruling desires of your heart that have led to porn,
– dealing with guilt and shame,
– and getting strategic about your positive motivations and creating personal goals.
Unfortunately, more times than not, many people are missing the key weapon, the one that binds all of these strategies together and makes them effective: humility.

Fighting Porn Addiction

Without a gut-level honesty and humility—one that says, “Yes, I have a problem; yes, I’m weak; yes, I can’t do this on my own”—we aren’t likely to pick up any of these weapons anyway.

Plan for Your Worst
Psychologists call it a restraint bias: people underestimate the strength of their urges in the face of temptation, and this leads to impulsive behavior.

A study from the Kellogg School of Management, led by Loran Nordgren, examined how one’s belief in his/her ability to control impulses (greed, drug craving, sexual arousal, etc.) influenced responses to temptation. The study found that people in a “cold state” (not experiencing hunger, anger, sexual arousal, etc.) wrongly estimate the amount of temptation they will be able handle in a “hot state.”

What is the answer to this? Nordgren says, “The key is simply to avoid any situations where vices and other weaknesses thrive and, most importantly, for individuals to keep a humble view of their willpower.” Three thousand years ago, King Solomon put it this way: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

What should we do, then, when it comes to porn? Christian blogger Tim Challies tells his children the same advice he takes to heart as an adult: When you are at your best, plan for your worst. This is the reason why porn addicts so easily get blindsided, derailed, or lazy: they find a small measure of victory and think they can drop their guard and quit their plans—that everything is okay.

A Weekly Humble Reminder
One of the benefits of accountability software for those who have been tempted by porn online is that it is a permanent step in the direction of humility. When others you know and trust receive a regular report of all the questionable places you go online, it changes how you use the Internet. It also serves as a regular reminder—to yourself and others—that your willpower is not as strong as you often think it is, that you are prone to moments of weakness.

Accountability: Not a Last Resort
We tend to carry our pride like a badge of honor. We use it for a shield against anything that might threaten our self-esteem.

Accountability doesn’t come naturally because we are naturally prideful, but we can learn the art of Christian accountability as we explore what the Bible has to say about Christian community. Click the button below to download the free digital book, Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability.

Download “coming clean”

It is crucial that we come to the understanding that fighting porn addiction is not something we can do alone. Unfortunately, accountability is often discounted as nothing more than a crutch, a place to hide one’s own inadequacies, a last resort for those who are “really messed up.” But accountability is not a last resort; it is a lifestyle. Once we realize that our objections to accountability are rooted in pride, we are finally in a position to ask for the help we need and use the strategies for freedom effectively.

Get on the field !

Tim Clinton, Ed. D. is president of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC)—the largest and most diverse Christian counseling association in the world. He is a professor of counseling and pastoral care, and executive director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty University.

If you’re struggling with pornography, you’re not alone. It’s hard to feel that way though because the church doesn’t talk about it much. Dr. Clinton says, “Almost 50% of Christian families now say that porn is the major issue in their home. Come on. Somebody needs to flip the switch.” When we feel alone in our sin, it makes confession—and the healing it brings—that much harder. Whether you struggle with porn personally or not, someone you know does, and it’s a conversation the church needs to have.

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Dr Carol Clemans

Satan is attempting to destroy souls worldwide through sexual abuse, sexual addictions, pornography addictions, sex trafficking, etc. Sexual abuse victims are sitting on our church pews. Many victims were then introduced to porn at a young age. The addiction to porn can lead to repeating the pattern of sexual abuse, fornication, homosexuality and adultery – it’s a vicious cycle of sin.

Sadly, the church is almost silent on all these subjects yet they are pervasive among us. It’s like the illustration of having an elephant in the house. We walk around him, feed him, pick up his poops, but refuse to talk about the elephant in the house. We must bring the sexual sins out of the church ‘closet’ and confront, teach, encourage, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine – preach the Word. If we do not, people will go to hell and stand in judgment and say to leadership, “Why didn’t you help us? Why didn’t you continue to teach us and admonish us?”

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The issue of pornography and sexual addiction is destroying lives at an unprecedented rate… The awful truth is that the men and women affected within the church are being spiritually sidelined the same way the army of Israel was sidelined by the giant Goliath . Neither side could move forward to victory or defeat as long as they continued to fear facing the challenge !

It is time that we face down this uncircumcised philistine and take him out of the equation !

Preacher, Pastor, Parent….get involved !

Shut the enemies mouth ! So many feel that they have nothing with which to fight….I am saying that you need to grab your sling and 5 stones, David ! Grab your ox goad, Shamgar ! Grab that jawbone, Samson ! Pick up your staff, Moses, for God is going to bring a mighty deliverance !!!

Use whatever God has placed in your life and start the battle and pursuit of purity !

Step one – we are only as sick as our secrets – speak up and speak out !!

…start struggling

Stopstart struggling

( written by Jonathon van Maren )

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Many of the things I hear make me angry. While it is legitimate to be angry about the use of pornography—it’s much worse than just lust, it is sexual cannibalism, the one-sided consumption of a human being created in God’s image for personal pleasure—one must be very careful not to slip into the sin of pride. When dealing with issues of sexuality, we can never say, “Well, that’s not a sin I struggle with and thus I am somehow better than those who struggle with these sins.” After all, in John 7 we see how the Lord Jesus dealt with those guilty of sexual sin, after challenging those who sought to stone a woman taken “in the very act” of adultery: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” One by one, they left, “convicted by their own conscience.” Jesus then said to her, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” Pride, we see in the New Testament and in the ministry of the Lord Jesus, was condemned far more harshly than sexual sin. We have to assist each other in becoming free from sexual sin, not set ourselves above other people.

My frustration is not simply the result of seeing just how widespread the use of pornography is, and how damaging it is. As I heard one speaker put it, those who do not think they are susceptible to sexual sin are saying they are stronger than Sampson, wiser than Solomon, and closer to God than David, the man after God’s own heart. What frustrates me is that time and time again, men I speak to refuse to do what it actually takes to kick porn addiction and purge their minds of this scourge. In all cases, pornography is by its very nature predatory, perverted, narcissistic, and in direct opposition to how God created sexuality. It is, simply, self-inflicted destruction that contributes to the external destruction of so many of the lives that make up those de-humanized pictures. In cases where the man (or, in far fewer cases, the woman) is married, it constitutes adultery. This is not just our culture, our church, our own “little lust problem” or “bad porn habit.” This is people consciously deciding to consume other people like a product, destroying their own relationships, twisting their perceptions of the opposite sex, and creating neural pathways in their brain that will often prove almost impossible to subvert.

Porn flourishes because people can nurture their obsession in private. No one is looking over their shoulder, no one is seeing what they’re seeing, and they have the opportunity to make whatever material they viewed virtually untraceable after the fact. That’s why the one filter I always push for those who want to leave their porn addiction behind is an accountability filter — a filter that sends your Internet history every week to someone who will hold you accountable for what you viewed in the week past. I recommend this type of system (and there are a number of very good ones) to everyone who tells me that they’re struggling with pornography—but it never ceases to amaze me at how many want to talk about their porn problem, but don’t actually want to kick it.

If you want to stop looking at porn, sign up for an accountability filter, and make your accountability partner—the person receiving your weekly history—your pastor, a church leader, one of your parents, your wife, your sister. Do you really think that you’ll browse some filthy porn site if your minister, or a church elder, or your mother or wife, will see at the end of the week what you’ve looked at? Perhaps in some cases, there will be slip-ups. But it’s generally very unlikely. With people you love dearly and respect much “looking over your shoulder” when you’re on the Internet, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll view your “porn problem” quite a bit differently—imagining how your wife or mother would feel if they realized what you were looking at would change your own view immediately and drastically.

When I suggest this step, I’m often told it’s “drastic.” No, it’s not. Looking at porn is disgusting and predatory, and this solution is not at all “drastic” when put into the context of the problem. If you think that porn consumption is not a big enough deal to take “drastic” steps to get rid of it, then you haven’t realized just how big of a deal it is. Yes, people can get around filters. You can decide to take one of your devices (cell phone, iPad) off of the accountability filter. But that’s a choice—a choice to continue the sexual consumption of other human beings. You don’t just “fall” into looking at porn.

Let me explain: I smoked cigarettes for close to ten years. For me to “fall into” smoking cigarettes again, I would have to get in my car, drive to the store, purchase the pack, take a cigarette out, and then light it. There are at least five conscious decisions that take place before I “fall into” smoking cigarettes, and am “struggling” with it again. The same applies to watching or looking at pornography again: You have to go home, or someplace where you can be alone, boot up your laptop or device, log on, search for whatever porn you’re “struggling” with, and then view it. There are multiple decisions taking place here. While pornography addiction is incredibly powerful, you do not simply “fall into” viewing porn again when you’re trying to kick the habit. You make a series of decisions that result in you viewing porn. You may be addicted, but you’re not helpless. And I do get frustrated when I hear from guys that they’re still “struggling,” but they still haven’t taken the drastic steps necessary to kick this habit. I’m sorry, you only get to say you’re “struggling” if you’re actually taking all of the necessary steps to get free.

Sexual sin is, in this day and age, one of the most common and destructive of sins. I understand that many people get hooked as the result of simply stumbling upon imagery on the Internet, or being exposed to it by friends, or even, in many cases, being exposed to it at a very young age in the home. But there are ways to free yourself from this addiction. There are people who want to help you get free of it, and people who won’t judge you or think that they are somehow better. To say to someone struggling with sexual sin that those who struggle with different sins are somehow better would be to defy what the New Testament tells us. But you do have a responsibility to cease this destructive and disgusting habit. The help is available. The choice is yours.

People Porn is Harming

Porn
6 Groups of People Porn is Harming

by Jennifer Fountain

The word “pornography” comes from the Greek word pornographos, which was used to describe writing about prostitutes. Prostitutes—not what many first think of when they view porn.

In the world of pornography today, it’s easy to gloss over the harsh realities of what porn really is and see it the way we want. The fact is, pornography is harmful to both the viewer and the actors. Here are some of the most harmed groups of people:

Christians

Is this surprising? Sadly, 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women would describe themselves as ‘addicted’ to pornography.

As Christians, when we give ourselves over to an addiction, we decrease our witness to the faith. We minimize the effects of the power of the Gospel by continuing to live in sin. And we expose many areas of weakness which we have not yet turned over to Christ.

Children

Yes. Children. Did you know many video games incorporate soft porn, beginning to desensitize them and raise curiosity at the same time? Did you know that your child could find porn while working on a school project online? In less than three minutes, a whole new world is far too easily presented to children. Without the protection of Internet Filtering, more and more children are being exposed at younger and younger ages.

Many children are afraid to tell their parents what they discovered. They feel shame. And then they feel guilt when their curiosity drives them back, again and again, year after year.

Teens

Did you know that by the age of 18, 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to pornography? And did you know that 23% of girls have spent more than 30 minutes looking at online porn on at least one occasion? (Want to know where teenage guys fall on that spectrum? Read: Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need to Know.)

Got a teenager at home? Re-read those stats! Can we just move forward under the assumption that our teens will be exposed to pornography—and throw our energies into laying a foundation for a God-glorifying way to parent through these waters?

Our teens need to hear about sex from us. The statistics show they already know about it—let’s be the ones showing them what God intends for the beautiful gift of sex and how to keep from being destroyed by its misuse!

Wives

Husbands who struggle with porn often create countless opportunities for their wives to battle an onslaught of temptations: shame, loneliness, fear, unworthiness and comparison, anger, depression, deep rejection, and so much more.

The betrayal a wife usually experiences upon finding out her husband is addicted to lusting after other women online cuts to the core like little else. Porn can be a destroyer of marriages because it shakes the very foundation of them: trust.

Porn Stars

Would we be as likely to pore over online porn if we saw our daughter in a video? These women are daughters. Many of them are wives. Many more are little more than children. They are stolen (literally), lured and lied to. They are enticed and ensnared. The life of a porn star is a horrific, terrifying life.

You don’t see the pain these girls are in. The struggle…the drugs that they take so they can get themselves through these sets. Sometimes it’s just a show…you pretend to be someone else…become someone you never thought you could be…and the hole gets deeper. (The Only Way Out – Former Porn Star Has a Message for Her Fans)

Far from being glamorous, a porn “star” is being used by countless men or women, children and teens for their own gratification, with little to no thought of who he or she is.

Our Grandchildren

I’d like to submit that porn is even impacting our grandchildren—or those that are not yet born. Future generations are being set up for exposure and addictions at younger and younger ages. The good news is that we can work to reverse this vicious cycle! What part can you play in ensuring your family and your grandchildren have the tools they need to fight the harm that porn brings?

Stop the Harm

Thankfully, there is a way out of even the strongest of addictions: Jesus Christ came to break the chains that bind us! And you or your loved one(s) are not beyond the ability to get help, or for experiencing change and the power to say “no.” Learn more about Internet Accountability with Covenant Eyes: one of the many tools available to you and your family.